Friday, 4 January 2013

Welcome 2013, you're mine!

Happy New Years Everyone!!! 

I hope the holidays brought everyone lots of love, happiness and cheer :) And yummy food :)

I ended up double fracturing my foot a week before Christmas. As much as the timing was horrible with work, not be able to go out  present shopping and do Christmasy running around, it was definitely a blessing in disguise.  Ever have those moments where you know the world is testing you? That is exactly what this felt like. Someone, or something was telling me to slowwww downnnnn. My test: relax!

I had that nagging voice telling me to slow down a long time ago. I guess a broken foot was the only way I would listen. My biggest struggle in the last 2 weeks has been to be ok with relaxing and not "being productive". Previously, even on my days off from work, I would feel anxious with any free time and always needed to busy myself. I would run errands, work out, and literally do anything to fill my time. I went from working 12 hour shifts, running, yoga, working out, photographing and general flailing about, to nothing, absolutely nothing. I had no idea in the beginning how much I would struggle with this. The first few days were an absolute nightmare! I felt like I was in a jail cell! I could not leave my apartment or drive anywhere.  Even getting up to get a glass of water was an endeavor of hopping, balancing and dealing with shooting pains.How I was going to last 6 weeks, I had no idea!

As time went on, some days became easier. That is when I decided I was either going to drive myself crazy, or  take the opportunity to do all the things I have wanted to but could never give myself the time or permission to do so.
On top of the priorities: edit photos! I had so many backed up from various photo shoots that I had not even uploaded from my SD cards. The editing process takes a lot of time, but that is all I had, time.

Fitness photoshoot from November.

Didn't realize my favorites were mostly black and whites...

Then, I baked a lot of yummy vegan treats! Four batches of raw "Lara" balls, (mmmm) granola, gluten-free gingerbread "men" (turned out to be various limbs,  "abstract" shapes and circles). I Christmas shopped for anything I hadn't already bought from the luxury of my computer (yay lululemon for everyone!) haha

One of my favorite "broken foot" projects was painting my massive canvas! The blank canvas had been staring at me for almost a year. It was daunting leaning against the wall in all its blankness, but for some reason I could never start it. Firstly, I never felt inspired enough, and secondly, I was nervous about what to put on such a massive space. I felt like it had to be an epic masterpiece. As part of my lessons in relaxation, I set it all up, and waiting for my artsy mood to hit. When it did, I just painted with no plan! Can you imagine!? No plan at all, no idea of what I was intending to create, I just let the right side of my brain lead the way, with the help of some killer tunes of course! It was, magical! The painting is no where close to complete, but it was such an amazing feeling to let go, stop thinking, and let my body and brain do whatever they wanted.

Unfinished - Acrylic on Canvas (went in a peacock, dragon kinda direction...)

And finally, I had this fresh start by tying some lose ends, finishing up projects and getting my mental health up to check, I decided that 2013 was going to be a pivotal year for me. It was time for a serious resolution. Not year long change, this was going to be a life time change. Time to switch my gears and to start doing what I want. To be authentic and live my life exactly how I want to be living it.
Alas, my resolution: check off at least 1 item on my bucket list every month.

I started this list back in high school and I have been adding to it ever since. I have about 120 things I want to do in my lifetime thus far, with only 22 checked off. So,  I am committing to at least 12 things this year, but planning to do way more than that.

On top of this promise to myself, I also thought, why not blog about it?? So, as I check off my life dreams, I will be sharing them with you too! Aren''t you lucky!?

I have completed January's already... stay tuned...

-Em :)

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